casting down footprints in this world, and not looking back to regret the path made. A simple girl, yet a masterpiece carved by the hands of her master above.
loves da bible, running my fingers on a keyboard, listening to music, talking, eating, gazing at nature's beauty. Feels smitten easily just by lying under coverage of stars, staring at them.
journey written down here may have it ups and downs, but let it be a blessing to u =) hop on long enough, and u will see the happy ever after ending with my master above. =)
This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it...
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I'm missing you already, Megan Tan Xi Qian!
November 29 has finally arrived. openning the gifts u gave me, and reading one of them was really an emotional time for me. Girl, u succesfully made me cry. if my eye bag gets bigger tmr, i blame u! =p
yes, and even if the time comes where i have three kids, and old age memories, i will still rmbr laksa nite - the first time we met. i m still amazed at how we clicked so fast. SO FAST! heck! we even shared a plate of mee! tht's like wat....30 mins after we introduced ourselves? can enter guiness world record already!
oh, and rmbr the first personal question YOU asked? That sparked the first common thing we had when we both gave the answer to tht question. ....and tht have been our constant issue aye?
All seemed like yesterday huh? When i hugged u this afternoon, all memories flashed. When i had the 2 nights stayed over at ur place, i wished time passed slower. When we were being all silly with ourselves, mocking MTVs and creating some nonsensical actions for 'certain' songs, i wished time stopped.
Same to u megan, u r irreplacable. i will never find another one like u, who not only can tolerate my crappiness, but joins in as well, and make it an even crazier one! one who never frowns. one who has a big big big heart for ppl. one who love God.
Ah~~this sunday would be so different without u. No more toilet-ing together. No more arguing with Keith together. No more conducting hand waving experiments. No more praying for each other on the spot.
I think while i m bloggin this out, u have already reached KL. Im sure ppl back home are very VERY delighted to have u back. Continue to stay strong in EVERY circumstances. ...and God cares.
If i forget everything about my stay in Australia, i will definitely rmbr one lesson i learnt from the stay..
HUMILITY.
When we ask God for more humility, you know it wont come easy. for me, its probably the search of a part time job for now. I never knew finding a part time job in australia was tough.
Before i started my search, i actually have a mental list of the places where i *thought* it would be pretty easy to obtain a part time job. Not just any part time job, but one tht fulfils the 'criterias' i created on my own. So, after exams, my search began. One by one, it was unsuccessful. its either they do not hire anyone at the moment, or they require a longer commitment time (during CNY), or i didnt quite fit the position because i dont have a car, or things like tht. The part where i didnt like the most was when i didnt receive any reply from the emails i have sent out.
I panicked.
honestly, this sort of things never quite happened in msia b4 when i was searching for part time jobs. And thus, my underestimation of job searching.
During the period of searching, i was really humbled. I used to be someone who never allow myself to work a certain kind of jobs. why? prolly ego. Also, seeing others getting job offers (good ones), really stirred up my heart. stirred to ask the infamous 'why-not-me' question.
It hit me quite hard when i'crossed out' all the possible places in my mental list, and still no job. Then i started bending my 'criteria(s)' a lil. Tough, cuz i normally dont bend my 'list'. Any 'list(s)' for tht matter.
....
And today, i have started my first day of work. Though it may not be what i had in mind initially, but i know it can be only by the grace of God, that He provided. Only by His grace. I m really, really humbled.
This is not the end of it, i know. But i m placing my trust in Him, rather than my own abilities.
yes..still staring. THis is the part of me where i have loads of things tht i wanna pour out, but i cant put it into words, nor pictures which are suppose to paint a thousand words.
This is also the part in me where i analyse,too much at times, till i bring myself into confusion at times.
THis is also the part where i fear tht i might have heard wrongly from Him. The fear of 'what if its just my own reasoning?'
I dont know whether how many of u been thru it b4.. or maybe i m just the weird one.
Hehehheehe....i hope u still read my blog. =) Lim li shawn...a gal who has been with me for almost 7 years! We've been thru our fair share of ups and downs aye? Well..what can i say? u r 21 years old now!! When i first met u, u were 14 yrs old, during a pre-piano-exam-performance in Ms Lee's house, rmbr? And then we were in the same class since form 3, till form 5. Then we both succeeded in getting into the library board. Our posts in the committee were so similar too! I think it was a long the lines of library director, or something like tht. hhaahha.. Rmbr all the 'label's we put on certain interesting ppl in our lives? all the 'tomatoes', 'cat', 'no.7' , and 'no.8'... not to forget, we went to the same BM tuition on fridays. Where we would go to McD for dinner, and all the rushing back for the next class, together with Ken Gene. Also, the fights we have over small petite matters. OH, and fighting over 'pan mee' for lunch on thursdays during sch hours. Other than tht, we found out that we were distant cousins!!! after so looong aye? ahhahha.. And the experiences we had with our exchangee from japan.
all the tears and joy, sorrows and laughter, we shared. Its still vivid in my mind. Li Shawn, never EVER forget ur position in Christ. You are one precious gem in His sight! Continue pressing on , whether in Msia or in New Zealand, or in any parts of the world. He's not done with u yet!
Thank you for ur friendship! I miss u!
(p.s : ask Yeong Ru, or my brother to pack u into one of their luggages. come visit meEEE~~~!!)
On another note, Yeong Ru, Sean Im!! fast fast come! i cant wait for u guys to come!
Also to my mom , dad, and john. I m waiting for ur arrival. =0)
Just received transport arrangement from Rachel. There seems to be more empty spaces now.. Oh well.. Life goes on.
~me~ at 2:06 PM Comments-[ comments.]
Sunday, November 18, 2007
When i accepted the offer for exchange programme to Monash Clayton, i was ready for anything that could come my way, except for one thing..
Farewells.
I overlooked tht. I prepared myself before i came, but not farewells.
I thought 6 months wouldnt matter much.
But looks like it did.
I couldnt take it today.
The week contained my most memorable events, and also the numerous goodbye(s) i have to say.
i could say today was the climax of all farewells.
a farewell for one person is good enough to emo-fied me. imagine 9.
Well, to others, its not a farewell, cuz they would be back to aus after their hols, but for me, i might not be here to anticipate their return.
In the car, memories kept on flashing back, and reality started to sink in tht i wont have those opportunities anymore.
Its not my first time experiencing farewell(s).
I survived.
I thought i should be numb towards these kinda things by now.
well, i thought wrong.
As i reflect, i asked 'why'.
All the friendships that took weeks/months to build, all the experiences, does it necessarily need to come to an end? If tht's the case, why do i bother making new friends?
I m sorry if the question sounded childish. I cant help it. You cant blame me.
Ppl would probably say, 'go build new ones then, make new experiences, widen ur friendship circle, move on.'
'Moving on' - i will definitely do tht.
But building more..cant i just stick to the current ones i have? if its gonna end up in farewell(s) again, im pretty hestitant.
well...i guess tht's part of moving on.
dont bother me, this is one of those times were i dwell into self pity. But rest assured, it wont last long. i will be up and about soon. but for now, allow me to rant.
yet again, i dont regret the friendships built. Thank you , each and everyone of you that played a part in making my stay here worthwhile.
(she's the girl beside me ^^) am still waiting for the pics, kim. =)
Hmm..not sure whethter you read my blog but... YOU ALMOST MADE ME CRY! ....in a good way. =)
Thank you for the gifts, and cards u gave me. As i m a sentimental kind of gal, ur actions really touched me. It has been such a tremendous blessing to know u as a good friend of mine, one of the few who really understands how i feel, one who never fail to ask me 'how r u' when i m down, one who offers to pray for me on the spot, one who goes the extra mile for me, etc.. Thanks for allowing me to pour my heart out to u, and thanks for sharing out your story to me as well. I'm really inspired and encouraged to see the way u moved on, and the spirit of perseverence that is bubbling in you. Thanks for imparting something into my life, and also allowing me to speak into your life as well. Though its sad to know that we may not see each other as often as we could, but bear in mind tht we serve the same God, and we are a family. Thank you for the song you shared with me.
I will always rmbr the times we shared 'stuff' together, and how we laughed at the silly thoughts we had, not to forget that the silly-ness component was largely contributed by our dear friend a.k.a your housemate.
=) u take care gal, and may God bless u abundantly!!!
"Steadfastness, that is holding on; patience, that is holding back; expectancy, that is holding the face up; obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do; listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear."
~S. D. Gordon, in "Quiet Talks on Prayer"~
How long must i wait , Lord? Nevermind, child. Trust me.
I wait. Dear Lord, Thy ways Are past finding out, Thy love too high. O hold me still Beneath Thy shadow. It is enough that Thou Lift up the light Of Thy countenance. I wait - Because I am commanded So to do. My mind Is filled with wonderings. My soul asks "Why?" But then the quiet word, "Wait thou only upon God." And so, not even for the light To show a step ahead, But for Thee, dear Lord, I wait.
annneeways.. i just wanna say a big big big big big BIG thank u to sook wai. I know i may have not told u this b4, or my actions doesnt seem to tell, but yeah, i wanna thank u for everything,from making sure i m alright the day i touched down aussie, to being a lovely company tht walks along side me. Thank you for bearing with my slow-ness. i know at times i take a very looooong time to grasp something. Also, making sure tht i m safe, making sure tht i know my way , making sure tht i m not alone. also, the first day i came here, u and joanne came to meet me, and brought me out for dinner in glen. For the times where u included me in ur outings with ur other friends, tho u need not have to. For all the 'are u okaye/alright'(s) questions u asked. for ur generousity. for calling me the first few days to check on me. ...most importantly, for being a wonderful friend.
okaye... my post today will be sectioned into a few parts...
first up...
Dedicated to G-R-A-C-E!
HAHAHA! dont kill me for putting this up yah, u just look toooooo adorable (while i looked a bit off, oh well...). i think u r in the plane right now while i m posting this. Mann.... i m going to miss u, especially ur pink legacy! =) ahaha..okaye, on a more serious note.. Grace, i've learnt a lot even just by observing you, the commitment, and the dedication that u have poured out in church, CG, studies, and also to the friends around you. You are a gal who is proactive, and would be one of the first few who initiates to get the job done, and not wait for things to be done. In CG, you would be the one who would take up the vaccuum cleaner and start cleaning the floor, even when ppl are still eating. In church , you would be the one running and asking around for transport details of ppl, eventhough by right, WE should be the one going to you. In studies, you give your best. You've also told me before incidents where you tried to invite your friends to CG events (or was it church), and i was touched just by your heart for the people. Keep it up grace, never EVER give up, cuz God is not done with u yet, and He will definitely grow the potential in you in greater measures! Have a productive and fruitful break in msia! =)
...by saying 'fruitful', i dont mean by growing a lot of fruits yeah. ( first lesson in LAM 1011, lol!)
oooookie...
Next up...Ms Sma Ann-Nyee!
hmmm..i dont have the picture of us under the anaemic mushroom, so this is the only one i got. Sma sma sma.. It was fun hanging out with u yesterday! Watching all those youtube videos, viewing pictures, talking about *stuff*, short jamming sessions on songs that were over sung in the good ol' days, listening to music, etc....really made my day. I m very sure, tht eventhough it has only been 5 months since u came to australia, u have made an impact to the people around you. Through the conversations we had, u know and i know we have learn a lot ever since we came here. Though our experience may not be the same, but our God is, and He is still moulding us to the women He wants us to be yeah. Have a good break in msia, and i hope (crosses fingers!) that i would be able to visit u in kuching before you fly back to aussie land yeah. so....take care, and cool cool! hahahhahha..
By the way, to those who dont know ann-nyee, she's a really talented singer AND guitarist. hehehhe... So, i have decided to post up one of her performance in one of the Campus City events, called Acoustic Nite. (feeling nostalgic yet?? hehehe). enjoy.. (and ann-nyee, pls dont scream at me!)
Okaye...next up, my post would be rather ranty, and maybe emo. So, i warn u first. Dont read if u arent up for it.
.. ... .. ... .. ... .. ...
Well... i have been getting good news, and not-so-good news from home. Lemme start with good news.
Someone, whom our church has been praying for, accepted Christ! *shouts* Its so encouraging to hear answered prayers!
Well, i wish there were more good news. Have been getting quite a few NSG (not-so-good) news from back home, and so many changes ever since i came here. Hello, i've only been here for 5 months! and...sigh. Sad and a tad bit of disappointment is wat i'm feeling right now, for one news in particular. something so close, yet can be broken , just because or certain disagreement, or discomfort.
or should i say tht the close-ness maybe the factor?
Sometimes, it just made me wonder, whether is it worth building it, and at the end of the day, a trigger tears it apart. After all the years/months and effort of building it up, going thru all those experiences, you wouldnt thought that it would be torn apart, just because of words? differences? i mean, it was fine all this while, but why? i never ever thought it was *that* severe , honestly. but because of *that*? oh come on! i was shocked.
i may not be in tht situation. i may not fully understand what's going on. but i beg of u and u, to strive to keep the core of it all. i know u know wat i mean. its hard, i know, very hard. i m really sorry to hear this.
only 5 months...5 months! so many changes. I m not so sure now whether will i recognise the norms anymore when i go back.
Finally, GEN 3040 is done! =) Paper went pretty okaye, praise God! U dont know how nervouse i was before my paper. I m so glad it is over.
.......and i'm so glad i have dinner. was *this* close to cooking indo mee (yes..again), and then my health conscience kicked in and nagged me, so i decided to cook. =p oh , and btw, i wanna say a big huge thank you to JULIA, BRAD, MEI and RACHEL for cooking for us!! u guys are such angels! And the food is lovely!
im not gonna read any notes tonight. bleh. yes, call me lazy, notty, whatever, i want a break. i deserve a break. *roar*
I feel funny. not the ha-ha funny kind of funny, but funny strange kind. *pouts* anticipation kills, so does high expectations. Add unpredictability and assumption to it as well. when u least expect it, it happens. but when u expect the same thing to happen again, it doesnt. it got me confused for a while. so, should i bring my expectation up? am i suppose to? should i even bring such vulnerability into the picture, knowing the possibility of it being broken is high?
....or maybe i m just assuming and expecting too much.
Unpredictability is something i still cant grasp. well, there are times for tht, but there are times where it shouldnt be there. 'mysterious' u would call it, but i call it 'scary'. You dont know what will the reaction be.
It's november. It's NOVEMBER!
"This is the day (or month) tht the Lord has made, and i shall rejoice and be glad in it!" .....yeah, eventhough i m not looking fwd to year end.
There's just so much, too much, very much to leave behind. many look fwd to it, but i guess i m the weird one tht says 'no, i wanna stay'.
"we love to have u here" "we miss u back here"
"U will have lots to do here" "There's things for u to do back here."
"January seems so fast" "January seems so far"
"pray" "pray"
I guess tht's the common agreement i could find. P-R-A-Y. After this finals, i m treating myself for a personal retreat. Still finding a suitable date, and also a place. its just too bad i dont have a car, if not i know where i can head to. Oh well..i will find a place, reach-able by public transport.(another option is to borrow someone's car without permission, muahahhahhhaha). i will come back with an answer! (cheh wah...)
ANneeway.. since i have some time on my hand...i shall just upload pictures of what i have been doing for the past months.
July:
My orientation dinner....
My first train ride in clayton! =) with quek, rach, and their housemate.
Visitation to melbourne aquarium with sook wai, and a few of her fwends. (and not forgetting, ice cream break!! ehheheh..Freddos!)
CCM's laksa night!
Suet Yee a.ka. MADeleine stay over! =p thanks for teman-ing me (and also bringing my choc! You really know the way to my heart huh..muahahha.)
August:
Mt Buller trip with quek, rach, and sookie!! ahh..unforgetful huh?
