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- J i n G L e -
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This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it...
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Saturday, March 31, 2007
RELAX...
I know i have things lined up waiting for me to settle, but i m giving myself a break for now. I dont care, i want a break NOW.
Its been a long week 5, but i learnt a lot.
Firstly, i failed my MIC report, and i m the kind tht i cant let myself fail tht easily. Receiving tht "fail" remark and 'lecture' from my lecturer was a malu-fied situation for me. Though it doesnt weigh much, but it matters a lot to me. But i know now what it is to 'smile at your storm', maintaining that cool look even though u get all kinds of negative remarks from your lecturer. Well, at least she is kind enough to pin point to me where i went wrong and stuff.
Second, BTH assignment. Had to read up so much on diabetes, and like what tim said, by the time we finish our assignment, we'll start to ponder whether do we have diabetes. =p
But by God's grace, we managed through the nite. As for me, it was a lil hard for to me to stay focus. Being awake wasnt the real problem (milo works!), but to stay focus was the core issue.
I was pretty distracted tht night, and somehow i drifted to thoughts i know i shouldnt be feeding on, but i did. and yeah, it distracted me the whole nite. Dah la i need to read up so much, and all these thoughts kept flashing in my mind.
Till a point, i told myself its enough.
Imagine a poor lil girl being bullied by this big huge guy, she tahan-ed it, and when she couldnt tahan anymore, she turns into this green face fluffy poffy monster and roars "ENOUGH!"
Yeah...i felt tht. I 'roared' to the devil and said, IT IS ENOUGH!
....and i finished my assignment.
Many a times we allow the devil to play with our feelings, and many a times we give into it. We feed our thoughts, we nuture it, and it will turn out to be a healthy weed with deep roots (if there's such a weed). And a weed disrupts the growth of crops. Once the weed is deeply rooted, there's no space for other crops to grow.
Then a tot came to me .. why nuture the weed, and not the crop? why bother nuturing something that is useless, and not to something that is useful? why jane? Is the weed so tempting that u overlook the crop?
I m doing a unit called 'crop science', so bear with me if i sound like a farmer.
We feed on thoughts that will not bear any fruit, and so many times we overlook the promises of GOd, which if its sown, it will bear fruit, hundred fold to a thousand fold!
*knock knock on Jane*. do u see how foolish u r now? helllo?
During CG, Pastor shared on sheep aming wolves. mann! Same truth repeated in a week! The first one was sharing by Jason in monash PG, that we are to be a lamb among the wolves, and not a lamb in wolf's skin, or put on a disguise as wolf. And in matthew 10, it went on saying tht we r suppose to be as shrewd as snakes and innocent as dove. and if u read further , it states that the Holy Spirit will give us the words to say infront of councils and we r not to be afraid when we are questioned.
WE r to be wise and also be innocent in our wisdom. u got me? lemme repeat.
We are to be wise and also be innocent in our wisdom.
Not innocent but stupid.
and not wise but guilty.
..i actually feel better now. initally, i didnt wanna talk to anyone. i feel like going to my own corner and put on a sign tht says 'do not disturb or irritate'.
I received this devotion thing from canaanland, and i was encouraged by it.
It talks about 1 john 4:4, where it says 'greater is He that is in You, than the one in the world'. And the author went on saying that GOd is IN US. Get tht in ur head (or rather mine)! God is in you. You hands are His hands', YOur feet, are his feet, your mind, is His mind! What more can u ask? U have the authority and power in YOU to drive out all evil, and to command the devil to stop playing with your feelings!
One thing the devil love to do is to play with our emotions. Cause many a times, when we are emotionally broken, our whole system breaks. We cant focus, we dont feel like doing anything, and our hope may sprinkle off. and our emotions starts from our heart. SO GUARD YOUR HEART and GOd is in You to drive the devil off! Dont let the devil turn ur mind to be a playground. no way!
okay..my break time is up! gonna get my ice cream now and start working! =)
~me~ at 8:40 PM
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Thursday, March 22, 2007
who am i , that i should complain about how sucky i feel now.
Who am i, that i should demand attention.
who am i, that i should feel dissatisfaction.
Who am i, that i should feel as if i should be treated better.
Who am i, that i should say 'i m tired'.
Who am i, that i should feel disappointed.
Who am i, that the Lord of all the earth, would care to know my name, and died for me....
~me~ at 10:15 PM
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Saturday, March 17, 2007
speechless.
~me~ at 9:07 PM
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stole this from siau ying's friendster picture. i cant resist but to post it up! i like i like! we gurls are so qualified to advertise for maggie mee, tht nutritionists have no choice but to change their mind about the hazard of eating maggie mee. muahahhha...(forgive me, its 2:30am now..lab report got into my brain)
~me~ at 2:26 AM
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Friday, March 16, 2007
"Take the shackels off my feet so i can dance, i just wanna praise Him, i just wanna praise Him!"
Its weird,how one can feel so depressed , and feel liberated the next day.
Eventhough we had only 3-5 of us during PG, but again, i m reminded why am i here on earth, and in monash, and in tht particular faculty,and mixing with the group of ppl that i m in now. Its funny how our human brain works. Something tht was enforced two weeks ago, and then after tht, we tend to forget what was enforced, and we need reminders to re-enforce.
having a timetable that goes 8-9, 12-1, 5-6, aint easy. but i live day by day with His grace. And yeah, its all in the mind. I'm kinda getting into the groove of having long breaks, and from those breaks, i get to stay in sch to do my work, instead of going to la-la land =p Plus, i gotta spend more quality time with friends whom i wasnt close to at first!
About the 5-6 class on thurs? yeah..i dreaded tht at first. but come to think of it, i get to bring my friends to CC because they have no choice but to stay back to attend the 5pm class. and since there's a break from 2-5, CC is the best place to be in for breaks!
Love what u do, and u will find joy in doing it!
I'm loving it, though lab reports are tough.
Even as i wake up for early class, one thing tht propels me to go is Christ love. if i were to reach out to my friends and be an example, it has to start somewhere. (tho i reeeeallly prefer my bed anytime!)
Mann..i m solely doing it for Him! If its not because of God, i would have conveniently forget to wake up for class. hehe!
I like what elder said. tht Jesus can identify with us. He's fully man afterall, and every man goes thru the same temptations *cough cough*.
And yet, he was blameless, pure and holy.
i repeat.
He was blameless, pure and holy!!
i always thought tht it was easy for JEsus to be pure because He is afterall God. But many a times i passed the fact tht He is also human, and He chose to be human to be identified with us. Coincidently, Canaanland sent a devotion email to me yesterday, and the msg conveyed to me was almost the same as my train of thoughts..
talk about re-enforcing huh.
And if Jesus, could walk thru tht life path of His, without swifting to his right or his left, with His eyes focused on his destiny...
so can i. so can we. so can u.
John 17:18-19
"AS you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them i sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified."
God did not throw us to the deep end of the pool where we have to find our own solution to survive. He send Jesus, as an example as a manual/guidebook/101 for us to survive in this world. Our manual is the B-I-B-L-E!!
So dont get discourage when faced with a mountain, because Jesus has showed us how to remove it.
........by faith and prayer!
I m so distracted lately, but there's a higher calling in my life to fulfil, and i m not gonna let any desire/temptation/attraction/comparison/jealousy/self-pity-party to stop me from getting where God wants me to be.
once again....
"take the shackels off my feet so i can dance, i just wanna praise Him! i just wanna praise Him!"
~me~ at 4:37 PM
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007
DESIGNED TO BE DESIRED
Tht tagline was used for a nokia phone, and i tot it is pretty cheeky, dont u think?
Hmm..i finally have some time to update this blog.
Just came back from a Campus Camp , and i can say its one of the camps tht i would look back in a long run and tell others, 'yeah, i met God'.
I dont know how to put into words, but i had an awesome encouter with God, personally. There were so so so many issues tht i had to deal with, and it seems un-ending. Yet, a simple 'everything its gonna be alright' from God calmed me down.
1 Cor 10:13
God will not test us beyond our ability.
Many a times, i thought i had to do it the hard way, or choose the harder path, in order to please God. Ps Ken prayed for me, and it was a lil hard for me to accept what was said. Many questions passed thru my mind, and i kept asking God the same question..
"Is tht what You really want?'
I was afraid, am still afraid. I really wanna say 'GOd, Your will be done', but i dont wanna just say it and not mean it.
Yet, God increase, and we decrease.
The fear in me is decreasing, because God's plans are the best for me. And someone once this said to me while i was expressing how i felt : "Jane..dont worry. He (God) has everything planned out for u adi."
Imagine this. U r suppose to plan an event, and u stressed over stuff because it doesnt seem to be organised. and then , a person comes to you and tells u "dont worry, i got everything planned and organised. Dont worry about it."
How does tht sound? well..tht's my God! And it can be Yours too if You let Him be. =)
REVOLUTION was the theme for the camp.
.....and there's a price to pay.
It doesnt just come by saying, or uttering words like 'i wanna make a diff!' solely, but it requires effort and determination.
God is all ever ready to help us do this revolution thing, but are we ready? Its like...
God: hey (enter ur name), i wanna do something great in ur sch.
U/me: Tht sounds cool God, but erm, i have classes everyday, movies to watch, not to mention, my sleep! i would really love to, but its too much Lord.
God: But, u just said in ur prayer tht u want me to use u to make a diff?
U/me : yeah..i know, i have to say tht, cuz so many ppl were with me. But u get my drift right?
God : No, i don't. Here am I offering to work with u but u declined.
God doesnt look for talents, but availability.
Our hearts need to be revived first, above others things.
Lately, i felt i m into a different battle, yet there were similarity with the previous one. And its like undone assignments tht are piled up. i could see tht GOd is constantly wanting me to deal it, and if i dont get thru the previous one, i wont be able to pass the second. yet, i m in these two battles.
Looks like more cleaning needs to be done in me , and even after the 40 days fast, i wanna see myself as a better person, more like Jesus.
Revolution? i wanna see it happening, i want to be a part of it too! But b4 tht can happen, i need my own revolution.
=D For once, i can say i m not tired of this struggle , because i see it as an opportunity to see how God works mightily in me.
i hope this post make sense to u.
~me~ at 11:30 PM
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