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- J i n G L e -
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This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it...
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Thursday, June 29, 2006
hm..
tht's weird..
my previous post came out empty..probably it is not suppose to be read?
hah...too bad la..
cant re-post or re-type what i blogged, it was at tht spur of the moment i wrote tht, so now even if i were to write, there wont be tht uumph...
It seems tht the only thing i spend my holiday on is blogging..
Still trying to find a good book to read..
I started on a lot of books, but usually i dont finish it..
it's either not interesting, or not inspiring enough?
Like i said, a-very-hard-to-please gurl, i am.
*winks*
Was kinda perasan today.
not gonna elaborate..
but felt a bit odd.
I thought the 'meeting' involved me as well, but it sounded like 'i dun have to be there' kind.
*hits forehead*
Just felt odd when i was in there.
I only kinda realised the 'odd-ness' after sometime in the meeting..
I was thinking to myself "am i suppose to be in? er...whatever la, i am already in anyway..=p"
Sigh..oh well...take it as an opportunity to develop thick skin then.. *peace sign appears*
Dad just came back from Sabah, and he bought this really weird instrument..
and i tot er-hu is weird enough.
Will not put up the pic of the weird instrument, let ur imagination go wild for once la..dun depend on the pic too much.
THere's (i think) 8 pipes..4 short, 4 longer ones..and there's a place where u can blow, and the blowing mouth piece thing looks like a erm...brown small watermelon? (lack of better description)
imagine a scottish kinda bagpipe...something like tht..
minus the skirt.
oh oh ..
i got some pic on church camp..just some la..lazy to upload the rest..
Let me proudly introduce u to my powderful team who almost-won..=p
THE ESCALLOP!!! *Trumpet sound, the angels sing!*
This was taken when we won one of the games, and others are still struggling to catch up..hahhaa..i juz love this pic..
sorry bout the other team..i lazy to post up la...
camwhoring b4 sleeping...or rather early in the morning..*yawns* look at our eyes (bag)
BBQ anyone?
SEE THE SEA! (lame)
hey..butt(s) off from the banana boat!
Celebrated June babies.. er...okie..over-grown babies
A must have BBK Youth group picture...
my family in orange for the first time..
the sharing and workshops by pastor and his wife....
intorducing...our new addition of BBK YOUTH!! ROcK oN! yeah~ uh! uh!
(or is it just because of their overload work in thier office?oh well...they r cool anyway. ;) )
SO if they can be in BBK youth, SO CAN YOU! Join us every saturday 4pm in BBK.
(no offence to them..hehe!)
~me~ at 12:15 AM
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Tuesday, June 27, 2006
~me~ at 2:54 PM
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Monday, June 26, 2006
Got this from CQ...
Cheese Test: What type of cheese are you?
ME love cheese..
*paranoid signal half gone*
I notice i got a weird sense of cutting fruits..
john was laughing his head off when he saw the shape
John: "what the *laughs ?"
my mom : "why like tht wan? "
Me : "its practical ma...Just EAT-lah"
dun ask how i cut it, its a lil too difficult to describe it here..
just imagine i cut the orange into 4 pieces, and there's only three of us, so 4 divde by 3, each one wil get 1 and 1/3 piece of orange, right?
so ...
i took one of the 4 pieces, i cut it into 3 smaller piece.
So...each one will get exactly 1 1/3 pieces!
am i a genius or what?
Cant wait to catch up with cq~!
~me~ at 9:47 PM
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finally went for a haircut.
feels light..
*swings swings*
Life is unpredictable.
..or probably my mood is unpredictable.
at one moment, u feel so nice about urself, and its like the whole world stops for u.
But when a not-so-good thought comes to u, u start to doubt.
U start to compare urself with others, and what nots..
Life's interesting huh?
I read Sarah's blog, and found it quite philosophical.
" do time exist? is the Sarah a second ago the same sarah now?"
Something to think about..
Clock is ticking, life's moving.
what r we doing to make it worth living?
are we just gonna live it by comparing?
are we just gonna live it by ranting?
are we just gonna live it by being the top all the time?
or
are we gonna live it by impacting lives around u?
What's the point if u gain everything in the world but has not touched one's life?
Are ur stories gonna consist of " me Me ME" only?
I am guilty of tht.
There's not even a slight joy in comparing .
I guess all this while i have just been doing tht, and sometimes neglecting what's important.
I still do, when i see...
but what can i do?
can i change the other?
what for?
what for i let the other ruin my life,the way tht i am suppose to live?
its not worth it.
ah well..juz side tracking..
What did i do for my 1st holiday week?
-watched "pride and prejudice"
-watched "pirates of Carribean 1"
(i know, i am outdated)
-watched "fast and furious: tokyo drift"
- window shopping
- meetings
- sleepz..
=) productive? *nods*
and many more coming.
everybody has been giving me stuff to do..
"Jane, u very free now right? u do this, plan this, take this, etc..."
Yeah..i am free, but hey, i need a break too..
so many things piling up for me to do, and what nots..
and when u realise it, its sch time again..
and the whole cycle of passing up assignments, exams...
and then holiday comes, ppl starts giving u work because they think u r free.
so when do i have my break?
I'm not grumbling..
just a lil sien of hearing the same thing, and going thru the same thing.
oh well, cant be help..
i AM on holiday, and probably a lil more free then those who r not..
so i guess LOGICALLY i shud be the one doing it?
I dont mind actually, just dun use my holiday as an excuse. =)
i am guilty of giving ppl task during their hols too..=/
Learn my lesson!
*paranoid signal is beeping furiously*
yeah..feeling a lil paranoid now...
*tried to shut signal off*
oh well..mom's calling me to cut fruits now, gotta run!
~me~ at 7:23 PM
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Friday, June 23, 2006
Tht was such a good goood good gooood show!!!!!
*two thumbs up* for pride and prejudice!
Yeah...i just watched it.
I have to admit it was superb!
Though i usually dont fancy high and mighty lit kind of show, with heavy accent and deep vocabs, but this was really good.
(thanx to the subtitles!)
I just love it..
KEira Knightly was so natural..
the way she giggles, laughs...
I was attracted to the character tht she was playing.
LIzzie Bennet.
A tough strong-willed girl, who has stands, and not willing to compromise on what she believes in.
She knows what she wants, and her sisters are very dear to her (esp the eldest one)
IT really contradicts to the character of the youngest sister, lydia.
Well...these days, it is hard to find such strong-willed girl, and tht was why i was kinda attracted to Lizzie's character.
Not paralysed by the need of love, or the need of attention, or the desperate-ness.
Imagine ur younger sister got married b4 u..
Just simply being an ordinary girl, whom is determined.
Not being 'cheap' as in to fall for any guy who asked for ur hand, or because someone asked, therefore u must accept, cuz of the fear tht u may not encounter another offer by someone else.
IT is real isnt it?
I mean these days, teenagers are just falling so easily.
Insecurities, uncertainties, and not knowing their identity is secured in GOd.
IF i'm a guy, i would fall for a gurl like lizzie. (if..)
Strong and determined, stubborn at times..or i would prefer to say tenacity.
I simply just love her character..Not being tossed by the comments of ppl around u.
What bout the guy?
Mr Darcy...(sounds so dorky)
HE is cool, stubborn as well, YET soft hearted...and loyal!
man with soft heart always charms one heart.
Mind u, soft heart doesnt mean easily swayed, or lembik.
Means u have heart tht is loving.
He appeared snobbish at first, but as the plot continues, u could see the softness in him.
DOnt judge the book by its cover.
REally.
WHen he smiles, he charms.
I am really attracted to these two characters.
Or u can say i am attracted to stubborn yet soft ppl.
More so a guy.
Not to be prejudice, but at a girl's point of view,
guys these days are sometimes too egoistic, or too flirtacious. Always wanting to show macho-ness, but lacking of substance at times.. (not all guys..but some..)
WE need more Darcy(s) and Lizzie(s)!!
man and woman of intergrity.
Sadly, these two are only characters in show..
WHat bout in the real world??
What about christians??
Stand up!
For too long we are being tossed by issues, feelings, emotions, comments..
Including me..
Time to stand up for what u believe in , and ur faith!
Christians, rise up!
BE man and woman whom GOd wants u to be!
Have the tenacity for christ!
Be firm.
Be strong.
Dont keep sulk-ing, time to rise up above the problems.
THough stay strong and stubborn for christ, but have a soft heart, like Christ too..
Jesus had compassion.
OKaaay..how did i turn the subject, from P&P to this?
Oh well..i am just inspired.
Where are the real man???
(hahha..sorry i had to add tht)
Throughout my 19+ years of life on this earth, i have only known a handful of guys and girls who r strong, yet soft.
very few..
JEsus is one of them..
He's firm , but had compassion..
Ever loving, and always willing to give..always.
HE even gave His life for us! me and u..
Beat that!
REvenge is not in his vocab, but a servant, loving heart is in Him.
He is good.
He even cured the man who wanted to seize Him.
Can u do tht?
HE can..
Even as we , His children, continue to fail him, over and over again, yet, He didnt zap us to death, He still love us..
LOVE!!
not like, not admire, but LOVE!
WOw...
WOuld u love someone who betrayed , hate, dislike, failed u?
I am grateful i know this GOd of mine.
My GOd who is bigger than anything, including my problems!
PRobably i am the kind who seeks for someone who have intergrity, principles, and is firm yet soft.
The darcy kind..(not dorky)
*looks at a corner and dreams*
so far, like i said, very few have come across my life.
if i could recall, less than 5?
if u know me well, i am a very very very choosy person.
I am.
Ppl around me would be like , "hey gurl, go for it!"
my reply : 'er....no?"
not only on this matter, it happens when i shop too!
ask my mom..
i can hardly buy anything...
the only time when i bought stuff like a mad woman was few months ago..tht was mad and scary..
i came back to my choosy momentum, and seldom buy stuff..
Even cutting my hair, i would search all week, asking around ppl for opinions, b4 i go to the salon.
for shoes, its the worst..
one slight thing tht i dislike, i wont buy.
even if its betweeen red and maroon.
=) tht's me.
But after certain experience, i realised i started to change.
THe principles tht i hold on to, i dont seem to stand on it anymore.
SOmehow after 'tht' experience, i seem to be rather desperate..
It was not Jane at all.
I dont blame anyone.
i'm trying to go back to my choosy path again.
I am not so desperate now.
I wanna go back to my cool kinda taste again..
very hard to satisfy me...hahaha
One person commented tht i'm easy to please.
Well..i am simple, but not really very easy to please.
dont get me wrong..
i accept what i receive, i feel satisfied with what i have.
but to reaaaally please me? nah-uh..
no one hit the target b4..
so far.......only GOd did.
Why am i even crapping this out?
i shud be sleeping!
GOodnight!
~me~ at 12:56 AM
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Thursday, June 22, 2006
i am kinda pissed at the computer line right now..i so want to chat, but my msn is giving me problems..
sigh..so i shall just rant here.
Well, exams are over.
DO i really have tht radiant facE? hmm..i dont notice it though.
I did a really huge stupid mistake today for my test.
Its not bout the answer, its the place i put my answer..
sigh, i dun think i wanna talk bout it also.
Anyway, went to Kg baru Subang to have seafppd for dinner..
It was fun!
My mood was lifted when i had dinner with my monash buddies (joanne,hwee jian, rachel, jocelyn, sookie, tim, melissa and jason).
I had so much fun, just laughing and listening to all kinds of craps ,while eating crabs.
dinner was good, the prawn was good though . *oops!* (wait jane..its NOT prawn...No..)
Then rushed to prayer meeting..
(private joke: nope, no squatters in heaven my frens..just incase u treated my word seriously..ahhaha..God still loves me, and You!)
PRayer meeting was good, as usual..
Hmm..
Exams are over..
Mind starts to wander again.
I had enough!
Everything seems to be going fine
But its not!
The hurt...
most
The loneliness...
all the time?
The pain...
?
Being Patient...
Giving up..
i
Fighting the thoughts.
Need more elaboration??
well..right now..i am just gonna relax.
Free from exams, tht's easy.
But free from nonsensical thoughts? never easy.
Makes it harder when the ppl involve are not even doing their best to help u.
Yeah..U!
God is with me..
Tht's the only comfort i have.
Not to forget, a bunch of faithful friends walking alongside.
U guys are angels...
To Sookie, Tim, jason, Ellie and li hui:
Thanks for being such a unique bunch. Life would never be as fun without u guys..
Ever so open to hear my ranting, and giving good advices too..
Thanx for the times where u stayed up to teman me finish my assignments, answering my not-so-important questions, arranging the time-table to suit my time, the offers to fetch me so tht its not so dangerous, the pats on my head/shoulder when i am sad, offering to study in the bedroom (girl's), providing lamb and beef, calling me eventhough it cost a lot, etc...
To Yeong Ru, Li shawn ,Suet Yee, Chai Kun, Elane :
What more can i say... the bunch who is as lively as ever, and though i may not see u guys so often, but i can feel ur support..thanx for hearing me out.
To Jaclynn:
Probably u r the one who understands me the most as we r going thru almost the same thing. Thanx for the encouragements and for understanding me.
To my dear dear Sarah Shin:
I may not talk to u often, but ur "ancient" advices are still in my head. And i know u will be there for me when i need u.
TO "others":
U know who u r..I prefer not to mention it due to some reasons, but yeah...u ppl are in my tots..
I have been thanking ppl a lot lately huh?
Hmm..What events happen in june?
A lot of bday peeps though.
Church camp!
*waiting for pictures to upload*
Exams...
Well yeah, practically it stops there till today.
Lets talk a bit bout church camp.
I was a lil hm..according to uncle nick, reflective?
Well yeah...probably, but tht's not the word i am looking for.
I think i was just trying to focus.
Like i told Pastor and Aunt Guat, i felt the camp started on wed night itself, during prayer meeting when pastor said we should focus our minds on God, instead of all the secondary metabolites ..(oops, i mean secondary issue such as games, fellowship, etc..)
I did commit myself to focus.
But i have to admit, i kinda half succeeded only.
honestly, i went in to camp with a certain perception of what i would go through..
not the programmes, not the activities.
but what i would see, and thoughts tht will come.
Well, i was right.
I saw things i didnt like, i had feelings which i really really hate, and aso facing my own weakness.
It was bad..
I guessed i focused too much on my problems, and my insecurities, rather than God.
yeah, i had serious feelings in me to be dealth with.
*pause to think*
But hey, it wasnt all my fault.
u didnt
help much either!
*back*
Uncle nick was right when he said i was reflective.I reflected on things i had done, and whether did i please GOd or not..or whether certain decisions i made glorifies Him.
I also told GOd how i uncomfortable i felt during tht time.
I just didnt have the mood to join them for frisbee, or for taboo, or for anything else..'
i wanted to listen to God, and read His word so much at tht point of time
and tht strucked me so hard.
Its as though when i need Him only i go to Him, when i dont, i will probably take it forgranted.
Maybe tht's the reason i am going thru what i am going thru.
I heard this phrase somewhere : "U dont need GOd until u realised all u ever need is God"
i hope i recalled it correctly.
I guess i have loads to learn.
I felt so terrible at tht time.
ITs as though i treat GOd as some secondary person.
GOsh..
ANd God treated me as His precious daughter.
GOd is so good and merciful.
*looks down*
*looks up again*
Many things happened in camp. Dah-la my problem, but at such a good timing, something had to crop up.
I thank Aunt Guat, uncle Nick, and also my parents for being there for me.
---Dare to Care--
Our camp theme.. but am i ready?
I am still struggling with my issue, and caring for others seem so unimportant.
But i have learned tht by caring others eventhough sometimes its so hard, its already a breakthrough.
Plus, u find great joy in doing it. Really! Cuz u r doing it with God's presence before, and in u!
Where the spirit of GOd is, there is joy and freedom.
Eventhough the person doesnt realise or appreciate it, u know tht GOd sees.
God smiles.
and tht is what matter.
Honestly, i need to learn how to care more and be more observant at my surroundings.
TO keep my word when i say 'i will pray for u'.
.. i cried when i looked out to the sea in golden sands.
I found a spot where i could be alone, looking out to the sea.
i had my bible, and my notebook.
and the sound of the raging sea.
And by looking out, i know my problems can be overcome.
IF God who created the seas, created me, He will see me through.
i cried cuz for too long i have been stuck in this issue.
I had enough and wanna get out! and its time for me to move on.
Tim! i want tht casting crown song!
~When the ocean rise and thunder roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father, You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You're GOd.
Notice the phrase "King over the flood".
SOmetimes GOd let our problems 'overflow' us,
But He is there..always there.
I believe that in
His
wonderful timing,
He will
bring him
to me.
i will continue to wait
on the Lord
I can really go on and on..
As for now, i think i better go get some sleep.. will continue some other time.. (my msn still not working...sigh..whatever la.) Goodnight world....
~me~ at 12:31 AM
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Tuesday, June 06, 2006
hm..
i know i shud be sleeping..
but yeah..the dreams are still in me..
even in my short nap.
It wouldnt be as bad if i didnt see..
but i'm still comforted tht i was told.
still...
how do u expect me to let go the part when i keep seeing?
*searching*
At times i realise my focus of doing certain things are soo wrong..
Like the purpose of getting good results in my coming test.
I want it so much..
And it sounds coveteous because i didnt get it, and yet the other got it.
And so i am trying to get what i didnt get to get what i can get..
which i dun think i can because it is very very very hard for me to get.
I black-ed out on saturday.
And at times, somehow i felt a tinge tht probably it's better if i continue to be unconscious?
less problems, for all of us.
Of all times, i have to feel this way.
It happened last year in the eve of my exams as well..
probably i shud be grateful tht it wasnt as bad as last year..
but ironically, i managed to stay focus last year.
Now i couldnt.
Though thru this tough times, I m so grateful for angels tht GOd has sent to comfort me, and to even talk to me eventhough its the eve of exams. My issue is nothing big them, and it may sound childish to them (though u may deny, but yeah, i know), but stil, they took time. Even U did..which i am so grateful.
--you guys know who u r --
Thank you for the sms-es..
thank you for the calls (aka the beeping? hehe)
thank you for the tags...
thank you for the words even if its hard to say, but it was said.
Thank You Ps Kenneth and Ps Siew Woh speaking the Word at the right time.
---thank you God for the bible and His presence..
PSalms 145
-The Lord is ever faithful to His promises.
-When all eyes are on You (GOd), YOu provide food at the proper time.
"Turn Your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful ways
And the things of the earth will go strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace"
i would like to end with a happy note..
~God still loves you and me~
~me~ at 1:51 AM
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